Professionalism

People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's kind of funny where I happened upon that quote. Funny, in the sense that I never would have expected it. I came across it in the middle of Technical Communications for Computer Scientists (Tech Comm), while I was busy not paying attention. Instead, I was reading the argument over who was the best Super Smash Brothers: Melee player in the world. What the person who posted that was thinking, I'm not quite sure.

But as I grudgingly turned my attention to the debate going on in class, I saw exactly what Emerson meant. The professor was presenting a study, conducted by a professor at CMU itself, that suggested that the students at CMU aren't actually under as much stress as they so frequently report. The study suggested that students merely feel guilty about not doing their work and cite misleading examples such as cram sessions and all-nighters as evidence of their work.

I nodded my head. I definitely recognized the accuracy in many of these statements. The class, however, vehemently disagreed. In the words of one student, they "took umbrage" at the study. They pointed out flaws. They suggested that the organizers didn't understand what it meant to be stressed. They said that time spent on work was not an accurate representation of the pressure one was under. They suggested that the job of the student was inherently more stressful because the results they produced dictated their future. Many students even went insofar as to state that CMU was more stressful than other schools of similar, lower, or even higher reputation.

Disgusted. I have never been more ashamed of my peers than I was while sitting in that room. I truly, truly hate to judge people, but this is what I felt. I saw then what the problem was. When we first got here, they warned us that while we used to be big fish in a small pond, now we would all be little fish in a big pond. Nothing wrong with that. Almost everyone has to be humbled at some point. But rather, the attitude that persists here is that while we are all little fish in a big pond, every fish in our pond would be the biggest fish anywhere else.

That, however, was not the extent of the problem. The comment about how a student's position is inherently more stressful struck deep. I finally understood why I didn't belong with these people.

I will, of course, not generalize. There are many CS majors with a love of their studies. But many, if not most, are uninterested in what they do here. They don't study computer science for the computer science. It's their greatest dream to get out of here, get a high-paying job as a programmer, and move on with their lives. There's nothing wrong with this, per se. How can I blame people who aren't interested in their work? How can I blame people who want to use their education as a means to make money to feed their happiness?

But while I can't blame them, I can see a fundamental difference of opinion. Maybe (probably) it's because both my parents were academics. What obligation do we have to enjoy what we do? Why can't our professional lives and our personal lives be totally separate entities? What's wrong with working 9-5, or whenever, and going home to live a different life afterward? Why is it a requirement that our profession be more than just a means of financial stability?

Well, because I've always felt that we owed it to humanity itself. As melodramatic and romantic as that sounds, it's what I believe. We owe it to ... ourselves ... to dedicate our lives to making this world a better place. There are so many ways to do that. We can teach, we can contribute to science, we can mediate, we can even study biology (although this should be a last resort). The possibilities are indeed endless.

Conveniently enough, through this mission to improve the world around us, we improve ourselves. We reach this strange point where what we do is both selfish and selfless - that we work to improve the world, but do it in a way that satisfies us. It's a beautiful compromise. One that takes years to find and a lifetime to complete. I can't help but feel sad when I see a life dedicated to some other cause. If nothing else, we owe it to the people before us, who have worked so hard and brought us so far.

We all have so much talent, so much time, and so much to offer. Every single one of us has the potential to change the world for the better. It's up to us to fulfill that potential.