Pieces

Most of the time, I try to make my posts have a point. This, however, is just a laundry-list of thoughts that have been running through my head the last few days. What the message is ... I'm still working on that part.

I wrote a few months ago about something that meant a lot to me. To use my own words, it was something I "never had the occasion or the courage to say." That doesn't sound like a reasonable justification for keeping my silence. We shouldn't need an occasion to say what we feel.

How do you evaluate yourself as a person? Whenever someone tells me I have a fault, I try not to worry too much. We can't please everyone. But how am I supposed to know what I'm doing right and wrong? How am I supposed to get an accurate picture of where I stand? How am I supposed to validate myself? No one gives us A's for being a good human being. No one is entitled to, either.

A question frequently asked of the characters in How I Met Your Mother is what we want from our lives. It's easy to say "I want to get good grades. I want to get a good job. I want to raise a family." Why? Why do we want these things, and moreover, why do we feel like we have a right to them?

Like I said, I have no idea where I'm going with this. It's been so long since I've felt genuine frustration and doubt. Maybe I can't recognize them anymore.

But it's not all bad. In my experience, frustration and doubt always bring the thrill of challenges and the unexpected. Funny how that works.